This would have been a great shot if it wasn't for a certain figure taking no remorse in uninvited occupancy of the middle section of the photograph. I'm sure you would love to bask in the sweet sweet innocence of this reckless individual, but take heed in knowing that...Moments later, I would heroically save this child from the depths of this fountain pool as his greed for spare change seemingly eclipsed any regard to inept swimming capability. That was a joke. He was an excellent swimmer, requiring no assistance on my end at all. Contrarily, I watched in envy of his exponentially rising financial standings and raw yet impressive butterfly stroke. My shades of green would continue to darken at his every circle of the pool, he becoming nothing more in my eyes than a bottom feeder with appendages swallowing up coins like like an overused Coke machine, only to capitalize afterward with a tantalizing treat from the ice cream stand. With the afternoon heat thickening to no apparent end, and it being 10 minutes into my afternoon snack hour as it was, my dry mouth could remain closed no longer. As he now obtained the ever so tasty Cherry Rocket Blaster, I began to shout such slanders as "wish stealer" and "new money", but abruptly surrendering to the two inescapable truths that "A": a fountain full of insults wouldn't fill the Cherry Rocket Blaster void in my stomach, and "B": he was an infant and most likely didn't speak English.
Granted he was before the age of words in probably any language, I strongly maintain he owes some form of appreciation for his parents forced swimming lessons, which at the time probably seemed quite frivolous. As bitter as this scene was and still in retrospect is for me, I am fortunate to be to an eye-witness to the fruits of the labors of post-fetal aquatics.
Wow Stew,you should be a writer.Thats pretty hilarious(wish stealer?)thats great.Thought you should liven things up since you now have whopping 11 followers!!It was just you and me,now everybody wants a piece of your action.
ReplyDeleteThe kid actually looks like he's coming over to kick your ass,but the shiny coins must have deverted his intentions.Keep drinking Cherry Rocket Blasters and portly little Korean kids may be able to take you.Love you -Auntie MJ
My dear aunt MJ,
ReplyDeleteOnce again, your priceless input is dually appreciated and convicted of ghost writing under Scott. Nevertheless, you were among the original faithful to join my blog, and continue to be a staple of the comment box. While the followers list has surpassed my expectations of single digit proportions, and it becomes increasingly difficult to keep a level head, I'll remember you and Scott as "true fans" before the bandwagon began.
Stew, I can't decide if you are better at writing or comedy. Daniel Tosh has nothing on you. I am assuming you know of him. Hilarious, but you are more hilariouser. My goal is to see how improper my grammar can be before I hit send!! As always, thoroughly entertaining. Can't wait for the next blog where you make an elderly South Korean woman cry!!
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